Saturday, October 16, 2010

Random crazy busy time

Well things have been crazy and busy lately. I feel sometimes like I am butting my head against a wall. There are days I don't know if I'm coming or going or remember where I've been! I know where I'd like to be but the problem is climbing the mountain to get there. I just cling to my faith that God will give me strength and see me through it! I know he will because I know he always has in the past. I am praying morning noon and night that I might have the patience and sense to just shut up and listen to him so that I can figure out the changes that he has in store for me. Hopefully I can fully embrace them and know there is a blessing in all this somewhere. Good news is doctors appt on Monday and the plan is one more month on my final treatments and then I will have completed my years of faslodex/tamox and no lump recurrences outside the normal realm...Yeah!! No meds in my system hopefully means I can get my complexion back. No more nasty skin hemorrhage's!! I hated that my meds sometimes made me look like I had a skin disease of some kind but it is a small price to pay for what it cures! God is truly great and I am so thankful he loves me regardless of how truly unworthy I am!

Haylie is the best thing that God has ever blessed me with and these days of being the mother of a teenage girl are so truly stressful, irritating, draining and a wonderful blessing at the same time. She is a great young lady and very respectful to others and considerate of their feelings. When I hear people tell me about things she has said or done it makes me very proud of the young lady she is becoming so it tells me we must be doing something right even if I feel like I'm always doing it wrong! However with me where there used to be a sweet hug and a kiss and mommy can i help you mommy can i do it. Those days have been replaced by MOM....UGH...and slammed doors (though I know it's only because of that hard headed stubbornness she gets from her dad). I just try to remember that God has given me the most important job ever and that is to be her mother and teach her the way to be not to be her friend and let her do or say whatever she wants. She doesn't have to like me right now in fact most of the time she doesn't but by the time she appreciates me being a mom to her and not just a friend. Maybe she will figure out maybe just maybe I was right she will probably have kids of her own... I wonder if this is why mom gets such a chuckle at mine and Angie's frustration with Haylie and Bayli. I'm guessing yes...

I'm seriously thinking of changing my relationship status to single or widow. I feel like I am most of the time. My hubby is always gone to this meeting or that meeting. He is always so preoccupied with all of his elected to positions and clubs that he belongs to. All of his extra time he has goes to doing the other things he needs to do but hasn't gotten done yet! Well as you can see that doesn't leave much time at all for him just to be home! I am very proud of my husband he works hard and gives freely to others without expecting anything in return. What makes me sad is my main connection with him right now in this busy and crazy time is playing his secretary...though I told him I need a raise!!

He is about to run his 3rd marathon and I couldn't be prouder this one in honor of Emma Grace Hampton to raise money for St. Jude and he is taking donations on his website.

Please go and give and help this great facility take care of the kids that need them. So in December JC Haylie Bayli and I will be headed to Memphis. JC to run 26.2 miles and us of course to cheer him on! Trip to Graceland of course and whatever else we decide to do.

That's all for now thanks for reading and sorry for boring you!